A long time coming

The phoenix is finally rising from the ashes. I feel like I have finally come full circle. While my desires have not really changed, and neither have my hopes and dreams, I am a CHANGED person. I know who I am, I am loving who I am and have hope in who I will be in the future. I know that this high will inevitably be followed by a low...mondays tend to do that, but I do know Tuesday brings a new day. I feel confident in Christ, in who I am in Him and I ADORE that feeling....and never want to lose it again. I remember who I was back when I was 15, 16, 17 and the fire I had, and how college had changed me from the confident, strong, Christian girl, to someone who was broken, unsure, and lacking in faith, and now I am the person I was when I was 15, 16, and 17, except I am no longer a girl, but a woman.
I feel I am the person God was molding me to be, and he will continue to mold me.
I have new feelings now...and I am so glad. I am really praying about these feelings and hoping God will direct me in how I deal with them, because I'm so confused sometimes by them.
I feel like my path is becoming so different from how I planned it to be, but as I have been learning...God's plan is so much better and different from mine. I am happy that His path is different, because I realize I would be miserable if I stayed my previous course and not trusted in Him.

BTW Septemeber is beginning to rival June for postings!

Our Time is Now

I already posted this on Facebook, but I don't care.

This song has always just spoken to me. I have always been a Superchick fan ever since I was like...12. Sad I know, but even if you don't like their music, you cannot deny the resounding truth that is in their words of this song....especially at the end. I was listening to this song while running one day and just broke down crying...realizing I had been failing at the call that was clearly resounding in these lyrics.
How much longer will we be standing back and just watch people's sufferings. We are called for so much more. I do not want to just stand by. Our time is now...think of how much different our homes, communities, nation and world would be if we as Christians would answer our call more readily...and for once people were less selfish and more selfless.
Hero (Red Pill Mix) lyrics

[Verse:]
No one sits with him, he doesn't fit in
But we feel like we do when we make fun of him
Cause you want to belong do you go along?
Cause his pain is the price paid for you to belong
It's not like you hate him or want him to die
But maybe he goes home and thinks suicide
Or he comes back to school with a gun at his side
Any kindness from you might have saved his life

[Tag:]
Heroes are made when you make a choice

[Chorus:]
You could be a hero
Heroes do what's right
You could be a hero
You might save a life
You could be a hero, You could join the fight
For what's right for what's right for what's right

[Verse:]
No one talks to her, she feels so alone
She's in too much pain to survive on her own
The hurt she can't handle overflows to a knife
She writes on her arm, wants to give up her life
Each day she goes on is a day that she is brave,
Fighting the lie that giving up is the way,
Each moment of courage her own life she saves
When she throws the pills out a hero is made

[Tag]
[Chorus]

[Verse:]
No one talks to him about how he lives
He thinks that the choices he makes are just his
Doesn't know he's a leader with the way he behaves
And others will follow the choices he's made
He lives on the edge, he's old enough to decide
His brother who wants to be him is just nine
He can do what he wants because it's his right
The choices he makes change a nine year old's life

[Chorus]

[Rap]
Little Mikey D. was the one in class who everyday got brutually harassed
This went on for years until he decided that never again would he shed another tear
So he walked through the door, grabbed a four four out of his father's dressing drawer
And said I can't take life no more
And like that life can be lost
But this ain't even about that
All of us just sat back and watched it happen
Thinkin' it's not my responsibility to solve a problem that isn't about me
This is our problem
This is just one of the daily scenarios which we choose to close our eyes
Instead of doing the right thing
If we make a choice and be the voice for those who won't speak up for themselves
How many lives would be saved, changed, rearranged
Now it's our time to pick a side
So don't keep walkin' by
Not wantin' to intervene
Cause you wanna exist and never be saved
So let's wake up and change the world
Our time is now

So good news...like amazing news

I got accepted into the DODDS program through NAU! Which means.....I'm PROBABLY MOST LIKELY going to Italy in January for student teaching!!! I cannot wait! I still need to actually get that assignment from DODEA, but I am nonetheless excited about going! I am so happy and I feel so incredibly blessed. I mean I am going to Naples, Italy.
check it out!



I now understand why things happened the way they did. I am seeing that god has something different planned for me right now than I originally had planned on.
I am happy with the result so far. :)

I just need to get this out

..before it turns into a sickness within my soul.
I've made a lot of progress and I DON'T want to regress.

She....will NEVER be me and maybe you'll realize that and maybe you won't. And maybe it's a good thing she isn't and maybe it's a bad thing...God has control over that not me. But she will NEVER be me and I will ALWAYS be ME. I am ABBY, and that is something and many people see...just ask those closest to you.
You may not want me anymore and maybe that's for the best, and right now, wanting you is the last thing I want. I want to be past you, so that I don't feel any pain anymore. It's subsided for sure, but somehow you still get to me to bruise my heart.
I am hoping in God's plan, I hold him close right now, despite the fact that I may be making something out of nothing...He is what I need right now. I TRUST in His plan, even though I REALLY do not understand it. I don't understand why He put such a desire in my heart to get married and have a family and serve God in that family..and why He has given me the opportunity to graduate early and all that yet, hasn't given me the one blessing that I have wanted above all else. I do not understand that, but I do trust in His plan.
It can be a hard pill to swallow at times.
She will never be me, I will never be her,you will always be you and He will always be I AM.

Now that I have been able to say my peace, I can go cram in some homework and get on with my fast track to graduation. Oh, I had my DODDS interview today, we'll see by the end of this week how it went. I'm praying God will make it clear where to go next semester after I know if I am accepted into DODDS or not. I'm not anxious of where I might go, but more of just wanting to have an answer. Anyway, I cannot have the emotional roller coaster I may need this week, because I have way too much to do, but I can trust God has me and has my life.

Senior year....of college...

crazy I know.
I'm 20 and a senior...and I feel like I just graduated from high school. maybe cuz I kind did...I mean 06 was only a couple years ago. Anyway, senior year...is stressful. Not anything like it was in High school. You know how you can just blow everything off your senior year of high school? Not the case in college....I wish it was so. Anyway, its been a stressful start for many reasons:

I have 23 credit hours

The partnership with christensen elementary is 21 hours alone ~craziness

I have to make lesson plans each week (which I dunno if I am ready for tomorrow)

My professors are tough. TONS OF HOMEWORK, however not too many tests...at all

I have NO money ~ I work three hours a week at NAU, I had to quit my job a little a cuz of my school schedule

However, this year has been awesome so far because:

Um, I'm living with Ali...that's reason enough

I love my girls from church, partnership and in general

I'm going to football games again which was a blast and a half lemme show ya:















I hope all these pictures worked. Those were from the football games

I am having a lot of fun my senior year and doing a lot of work. It might kill me, but it's my last semester...live it up!
I LOVE my second graders by the way and mr. Macias...he's amazing!
I feel like a teacher!
YAY!
Hopefully tomorrow won't drag me down from this elation that I am feeling at the moment!