My so called summer 08...baybee!

Because that's what every one is calling it these days. And yes..I wrote BAYBEE....I thought it accentuated the obnoxiousness.
And I think I just made up a word.
Anyway, its been a while since I last blogged...mostly because I'm lazy and partly because nothing THAT exciting has happened. I did recently come back from Michigan, which was fun and good, but still painful. It was very apparent that we were missing one of our girls. I was also able to get a sense of closure because my Aunt let me read some of the things Courtney had written in her Bible, it gave me a peace to know where she was and also made me miss her all the more to see her beautiful handwriting...it was like she was still here.
It was a cool thing though, to see the rest of my family...some of whom I'd never met and others I hadn't seen since I was nine. Like my grandparent's siblings, especially my grandmother's craziest people you will ever meet. And I finally met the elusive Aunt Betty. She's like 80 going on a 102....she's like one of those women that you say "she's a tough old bird" and you mean it...
However, my favorite crazy relative would have to be this man:


Uncle Joey.
I'm not sure if he was ever in the navy, but he wears that hat everywhere he goes and has worn it ever since I can remember. Not only do I love him because of eccentricity but also because he really cares about his great nieces and nephews. It's cool.

In other news....I've decided that since I am in my twenties and I really haven't done anything THAT cool since I was like 17, I am now going to do something really cool. I'm going to train for a half marathon...the PF Chang's Rock N Roll Arizona half marathon to be exact.
For the record....I am NOT a runner. So doing this...is a huge challenge, but I really want to do it. I'm supposed to be in my prime right now and I am not going to miss out on that. Plus...I don't have kids yet and I might as well start running now, so that when I have kids they can see how cool their mom was before them.
Because I will be a cool mom.
And not like Regina George's mom was a cool mom.
Anyway, it was day two of training today...and it went well, definitely better than day one, but let me tell you...this was the WRONG week to start. Need I say more? No I don't.

Anyway, I need to get back to doing something else productive, like practicing for rehearsal tomorrow or dusting....

Advice for the day:
Take advantage of your best years, you're not going to get them back and you probably won't do it when you're old, or in the words of a wise woman I know "you definitely won't do it when you're old...you're too tired."

A letter to the man who captured my heart for 8 years

I've grown too attached again. I suppose it had to do with the fact that Courtney died and I needed the person to whom I have been the closest to help me through this time. But, I need to get back to the good spot I was before Courtney died. The spot where I wasn't upset by you or consumed by you. While I wasn't consumed by you these past few weeks, I was making my way back to being too attached. So, this is it. I dunno if we're just not good for each other, or if it is just timing and that someday at a better time, we'll be together, but for now, you want to date around and I need to be single. I will never understand this fully I don't think, but I do see what God is doing in my life. This is going to help me grow, and as a very dear friend of mine said "God wouldn't have you go through all this and have it be for nothing." I trust in that. It will all be better. I've got to say....that it doesn't look good for us. You want to date other people...obviously I am not giving you something you need....you say you don't want commitment, yet you'll date other women, in my mind that doesn't make sense. Its all fine though. Whatever God has planned is better. There are times that I want to know if His answer for us is a yes, but you have to wait or a no. But I think God doesn't want me worrying about it. So I won't. He has me and He has you, and I am so thankful for that. There is one last thing I must say, because I don't want you thinking for one day that I don't feel this way. I want to live without the what ifs, I wonders, and regrets if anything were to happen to either one of us.

I love you. And I always will, you were the first one to have my heart, and no matter what you will always have a part of it.