This is my red rocket
Anyway, being that it is about 5 hours round trip, I had a lot of time to think on my own today. I realized I'm very angry still. Very angry and very bitter. It's not good. In fact its bad, and it makes me wonder if maybe I should stay this mad. I think I should actually, but is it Godly?
People hold on to so many things, anger, jealousy, sadness, love and it's hard to let go, especially when we become comfortable with these emotions. I realized however, that I am not comfortable with hating and being so angry with someone that I loved for so long and still care about very deeply. I just don't want him to know that. I'm afraid if he knows how much I do care, it will end up hurting me.
How sad it is. Really, it is. So I have yet to come to the conclusion on whether or not I should reach out to him at all.
The one thing I do know for sure is that it is not healthy for a person to hold on to anger and yes I still am doing it, even though I know it is not healthy. But I was hurt badly, and yes in some way I desire him to feel my pain...revenge I guess..I'm sick, I know.
Can I also just say that A Fine Frenzy is amazing...I also listened to her the whole 5 hours and she's amazing. Her voice has so much emotion...I sang along and it was like therapy. Perfect for driving at night and you just want to cry, good girl music.
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I think I shall hit the sack now, it's time for bed. I had a long long night.
Words of Wisdom:
Don't hold on to grudges for too long....just long enough for you to not be so angry and bite their head off when speaking.
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