The State of.....Me

Tonight was the State of the Union speech, delivered by our President. While I do not necessarily agree with what the President saw as solutions to our country's problems, it did give me a thought to ponder. What is my state? I'm 21, I had plans for where I would be in my life, and much like our nation had plans in the beginning, I find I have not reached the goals I wanted at this point in my life. And I wonder am I happy? Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

The past couple months or so I have been drifting between contentment and discontent. This has to do with the fact that I have so much to be thankful for, yet at the same time, I have been yearning for other things.
I guess I realized recently, I was basing my contentment on the wrong things. Which I do realize, happens often.

This past Sunday, something just clicked, it was literally like a switch was flipped and I was filled with a desire for the Lord that I have never experienced before. At least not to this...maturity, or for as pure of motivations I guess?
I purely and completely just want to know Him better, for the sake that I REALIZED, He is JEALOUS for me. (Thanks David Crowder Band) He wants me and loves me as I am and he makes the time for me and anxiously awaits my call and I have been denying him a lot of love without realizing it. With the experiences I have been having with being single and my discontent ( at times) with that, I can conceptualize the fact that I have been causing the same kind of pain for my Heavenly Father that I have been experiencing. Rejection.
Sometimes I wonder if God ever can feel not worthy or good enough. I mean, there is no way He ever could be, He is God, I am the unworthy one, but does He feel that way, like I do sometimes?

I'm rambling. That's not the point.

The point is, I feel genuinely content right now. I have shifted my focus. My focus is on loving genuinely and completely. My focus is to give my love freely to my Lord and not hold back or deny Him my love. I have been praying for my relationship to deepen with Him and I know this is my opportunity.
I am so thankful.

Now, on a less serious note. My life as a teacher is full of daily frustrations, but today was a good day with the kids, and one that gave me much to laugh about or at. One example being a random comment a student said to me today during math. It went like this:

" Miss Nick, did you know that when I was little I ate quarters?"
"Really now.....that's interesting."
"Yeah, and once I tried to eat a dollar."

Trust me.......this explains a lot.
I love my job.