One thing

Hi,


I still love you.


Just needed to say that.

6th grade

Is totally where I am supposed to be, without a doubt in my mind. I L-O-V-E it! My job is fun again, like I remember teaching being. I mean, it is only the third week in, and I am TIRED as heck, BUT I LOVE what I am teaching. I cannot wait to get into the actual history with my kids. Last week we did culture projects all week, where the kids basically presented their lives to the rest of the class, it was REALLY interesting to me. I have a very diverse bunch of kids and I love it and I am glad they were able to appreciate each other's cultures and lives.
I also really enjoy my team, especially the teacher with whom I share a door and the new SPED teacher for our grades. It's been a lot of fun hanging out and winding down on friday nights. I feel very optimistic about this new year, the second year is always better. THANK GOODNESS!

I really just wanted to update on my work life, nothing else exciting is really happening. I did go on an epic hike (not grand canyon epic)up Camelback through Echo Canyon. I haven't been on Echo yet, only Cholla trail, and I think I like Echo better. Once the weather cools down I might do a hike where I start at Echo, end at Cholla and go back....then eat at La Grande Orange! MMMMMMM! I found another new restaurant for me to get fat in!

Thankfully I just purchased Hungry Girl's: 200 recipes under 200 calories....it's being shipped to me as I type. I'm excited, because frankly, I cannot do my meal plan anymore and I am gaining weight....and I have a wedding to be in on September 29th, I cannot gain weight. :/

maybe I should go hike camelback again?

Lists and secrets

So recently I stumbled upon interesting journals while I was in Seattle. I like things that expose things about yourself or other people, I suppose it's because I am nosy. But one of the journals that I liked best was these journals called "Listology". Basically it's a journal of lists, for instance list the most memorable moments of your summer or something to that effect. I also have a love for the Post Secret books, again, it's the nosiness thing. I just like knowing about people. Anyway, I think today I am going to combine the two thoughts. A list of secrets....or things that I feel, but I would rather die than tell you. So here goes:

10 Secrets that I harbor in my heart:

1) I legitimately believe you are crazy and your actions infuriate me.

2) I've probably written your last name with my first name about 20 million billion times on notebooks, paper, receipts, journals, in dry erase marker, in permanent marker and in the sand. It makes me feel silly.

3) Even though I know where I am going after I die, I am horribly frightened of driving and getting in an accident.

4) Tell me how to treat my students or how to teach or how you think I should run my classroom without being a teacher or even in my classroom....I'll do everything in my power to not rip you a new one if I care about you, if I don't care about you....I'll let you have it.

5) I really want to ask you on a coffee date, but my pride won't let me...one of these days I'll do it. I just think you're one of the coolest people I've ever met and you were totally not who I expected you were when we met so long ago.

6) I eat peanut butter out of the jar with a spoon....and yes I double dip.

7) The more I read Pride and Prejudice, the more I am convinced my life is mirroring Elizabeth Bennet's in odd ways.

8) I worry sometimes that no one is ever going to measure up to my dad.

9) I sometimes sing loud in worship because I want to hear my voice above everyone else...it just brings me to a certain place spiritually

10) If you were a little bit older, I'd probably marry you, you're perfect.

Seattle, Singleness and San Francisco

So,
I've been on a girl trip in Seattle with my friends from college. Let me tell you, it's amazing. I love Seattle! It's artsy and fresh and weird. OH MAN, is it weird. For instance, a man decided to hula hoop, while playing the guitar and horn, and holding a guitar up in the air with his teeth. Seriously. Only in Seattle.
So I have thoroughly enjoyed riding ferry boats, drinking amazing coffee and enjoying Pike's Place like no other. Seriously, I am wondering if Seattle was built just for me. I want Pikes Place Market just so that I can find a man to buy me a BEAUTIFUL bouquet from the Market and bring them to me when I have a bad day. I also just love the laid back atmosphere. IT's been awesome.

But it would all be nothing without my awesome girl friends. I miss my girls from college so much and I am so thankful that when we get together it's just like old times....we're different, but we know that and we're ok with it, so it works. I just love that we can all come together and just be the best of friends that we were at NAU.
Another reason why I am CONTENT with being single.
I can have girls trips with my friends....without worry at all. This is just an awesome adventure that I get to have with my girlfriends, these trips are going to help mold me into the person I need to be for my future.

So, we decided....we're going to go to all the places and cities we want...each year we draw from the hat a new city or place.
Our options were:
Maine
Savannah
NYC
Chicago
North Carolina
Ohio
San Francisco
Boston
We decided we were going to draw from a bowl and our new best friend Jumaane the waiter at Delilah's Cozy Cafe drew for us. He determined, we will be going to San Francisco next year! SO excited. San Francisco is one of my FAVORITE cities. Seriousl loved it for high school choir tour. So I'm excited, and we also decided....even if we're not single....we're all going...you're only young once.

Missing Chances

Do you ever feel like maybe you missed your chance? I suppose in a way if you trust in God and in his infinite plan for your life it's hard to say that you missed a chance because He knows what is going to happen and plans it all out, but does God give you choices in his plan?
Someone brought that to my attention the other day. She said that she believes that God gives you choices on what to do, that sometimes he doesn't always just make it clearly apparent what direction to go in (really ya think?). So that got me thinking in terms of my relationships and I suppose lately I've been a little frustrated with the dating scene, being that it is non-existant for me, and I wonder...did I miss my chance?
Did I let go of the wrong person? Is that possible in all actuality? I'd like to think that God will in fact make it impossible to let go of the right person permanently, but I guess I never thought of the prospect that I might actually have to do something in order for it to all be right again. Maybe God won't just magically fix it, but I know I can't push something that isn't there.
I've been wrestling with this for over a week now, actually more like two. It's really annoying because I still don't know what to do....take a small bit of action or just stand idly by and wait for God.
I think I do know my answer, but I want to be sure.
So action?
Or wait?
hm.

To sum up

So it's been a while since I last bloggity blogged. Not many people read anymore anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter, but I would just like to make some summations.
I am now NO LONGER a "first year teacher" and let me tell you, I am GLAD GLAD GLAD it is over. The first year is always the toughest and I am proud that I am still alive after all the crap my lovely children pulled. Don't get me wrong, I DO love them, so much, but they can be little terrors. I feel like I am a mom to 100 little 11 year olds sometimes...and get this, I get the same little cherubs next year because I am moving up to 6th grade. I'll be teaching social studies though and let me tell ya, I am stoked.
Also the last day of school I drove up with my father and our friend Greg and we spent the next three days at the grand canyon. I'd like to call this EPIC HIKE 2010!!!!!! Rim to Rim to Rim in 19 hours and 55 minutes! WOOT! Rim to rim to rim means that we went from the south rim to the north rim and back to the south rim (although we had a day of rest in between the two trips.) It was an amazing experience and a great bonding time with my dad. I realized I am even more like him than I originally thought, especially in terms of perseverance. The last 4.5 miles of hiking we both just decided we were NOT going to stop and we kept on trucking. Also, I realized just how creative my heavenly father is. Nothing compares to the artistry that is the Grand Canyon and I don't know how anyone can look at that beauty and doubt for even a second his love for us or even the fact that He exists. HE IS THERE. Also, to realize the One that created that massive, gorgeous canyon is the same One who created me and cares about me and knows about every little thing about me, how truly amazing and humbling is that. It is a wonder to behold that the same One who created the Grandest Canyon ever also created some silly girl with blonde hair and freckles, and yet he loves me MORE than that beautiful canyon. :)

Also, in two days I turn 22, and I am not really happy about it. I guess because I just feel old, but I know I am not, so it's not really that. I suppose it is more of, I expected to be in a different spot in life at 22 and I am not. I guess that is a whole other blog post, and maybe this weekend I'll have some inspiration over turning 22. The girls are taking me out tomorrow and making me feel special and then my family on saturday, so maybe by sunday I'll have something enlightened to write about 22.

Where have all the Men gone?

Interesting title I know. But a valid question. And no I am not necessarily looking at this from a dating perspective, what I am about to say is just something I am noticing and it has been bothering me for some weeks. Ok, why is it that men no longer want to go to church? The past few weeks I have just noticed that the men in my age group are incapable of consistently participating in bible study or church.
And I am not trying to bash on the guys, but I am trying to convict them. Every week I look around and see a bunch of women....ESPECIALLY at bible study. There is usually only one guy at bible study, and he is there EVERY week. Why is it that there is just ONE guy? It really breaks my heart. I think something that is lacking is strong MANLY leadership in the Christian church. A common complaint I hear from guys is that church has become feminized...and I understand not wanting to go to something or participate in something that is not manly or even just not having "time" but cmon, those are excuses.
1. If you want it to be manly....well you're a man, make it manly, us women can't do it, and if no one else is stepping up, maybe YOU should be the one to step up.
2. You don't have time really? You MAKE time, this is your relationship with God and your duty to the church...yes your duty. Plus, us women, have busy lives too...I mean hello!?

Now let me clarify, this is not all guys in the church. Many many many men devote their time and energy to serving and to deepening their relationship with Christ, the problem is, I feel like a lot of the burden that those guys are carrying, should be shared with the ones who are being intermittent in their attendance. I am probably going to offend a lot of people with this post, but it really does get to me, because WE need strong male leaders in the church and men that show they are devoted to their faith. Maybe I am being unfair and maybe I am wrong, but at the same time, I think I do have valid points. And maybe too I just don't get it either because of how I was raised and how my father is. I saw him always devoting time to the church and being faithful in service and attendance, so it's odd to me to see otherwise.

I do apologize if I have offended, and if I have, maybe you should also take a look at WHY you are offended. Just a thought. Oh and please let me know if I am completely off base, I'd appreciate it.
Lovies.